With news this week that Brisbane is now the preferred candidate to host the 2032 Olympic Games, we can exclusively reveal the proposed gold medal design for the global event. In an attempt to showcase Queensland greatest export to the world, the organising committee is believed to be in talks with top-ranking officials for the games to present cans of XXXX Gold to the winners of each event, in place of the more traditional gold medal.

While such a move would swim against the significant tide of Olympic tradition, some claim the tacky cross-promotion is merely a sign of the times. An anonymous insider from the Brisbane bid team told The Watsonia Bugle, “Yeah mate, everyone’s got a price these days, but at least this is a brand that resonates with the public, especially the ones living up here in Queensland, eh.”

The source also claimed that XXXX Gold provided a truer representation of the Australian drinking population that what us Mexicans believe. They said, “Youse blokes down south have got it all wrong. It’s not all about them fancy craft beers and fruit juice sours, mate. Drop a couple of Milton Mangoes down your throat and discover what real drinkin’ is about. Eh.”