A local entrepreneur is reportedly trying to break into the lucrative bumper sticker business by creating a new sticker that will encapsulate the Watsonia vibe and promote our region to the uninitiated. Tony Hamilton says he wants to piggyback on the success of such iconic bumper stickers as “Where the Farck is Yarck?” and the slightly less crass “Conargo Pub”.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle about his unique business plan, Hamilton claimed that a viral sticker campaign would “attract thousands of tourists to the Watsonia region and really put us on the map. Mate, that Conargo Pub sticker pops up everywhere and it’s not even that clever or funny. It’s just executed in a very solid font. Once I decide on the best slogan for Watsy, it’ll go gangbusters.”

While skepticism remains around how one bumper sticker can truly encapsulate the entire essence of a tourist destination, Hamilton was unperturbed. He said, “You’re missing the point. It’s a combination of two things: the internet and social media have reduced people’s attention spans to bite-sized pieces of information, and traffic around Melbourne is getting worse by the day. Those two factors mean a short and sharp car bumper sticker is perfect for boosting your profile.”

When asked what kind of slogan he had in mind for the bumper stickers, Hamilton claimed that he had “at least three or four absolute bangers on the go, but I don’t want to give away all my secrets”. Lucky for you, our incredible journalism skills managed to squeeze at least one of the ideas out of the hapless Hamilton.

After an intense line of questioning, Hamilton said, “Alright, alright, I’ll tell you my favourite one so far. Have you ever told someone you lived in ‘Watsy’ and they’ve looked all confused and asked where that is? Well, that was the inspiration behind what could be the best slogan to put us on the map. What’s Watsy? That’s the one, I reckon. It’s pretty good, huh?”