The current health situation has reportedly solidified a push by rogue Montmorency residents to have their suburb classified as an “eastern suburb” of Melbourne. While their campaign has been running for a few years now, members of the group say this week has strengthened their resolve to distance themselves from their northern neighbours.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, a spokesperson for the lobby group said, “Well yes, this week has certainly expediated certain aspects of our case, but we’ve been wanting to be referred to as an eastern suburb for quite some time now. Personally, I’ve always aligned myself more with the leafy and prosperous locations in the east. You know, Warrandyte, Balwyn, Kew, Hawthorn. In fact, I’ve occasionally heard some people refer to Monty as ‘Diet Warrandyte’, which I quite like. I’ll take that.”

Acknowledging that Montmorency is generally referred to as a ‘north-eastern suburb’ when reported in news bulletins, the spokesperson claimed that wasn’t enough. They said, “Yes, geographically that may be accurate, but true Melburnians know the difference between the north and the east. We are not north. Those heathens over in Greensborough and Watsonia are quite northern, but we are easteners. And it’s time we’re referred to as such.”