A local man has reportedly just paid his wife $11 for a plastic cup of mid-strength beer in a desperate attempt to enjoy the full match day experience during this afternoon’s clash between Adelaide and Collingwood. Pete Kendall made the unusual transaction just minutes ago after lamenting the fact crowds are currently banned from attending matches in Victoria, ignoring for the moment that the game is being played in Adelaide.
Attempting to justify his fiscally irresponsible behaviour, Kendall said, “Mate, it’s all part of the experience. If I was drinking out of a stubby or a can it wouldn’t feel the same. I’d know I was not at the game. Whereas, if I feel like I’m being ripped off, and then I feel that harsh first sip of mid-strength hit my lips via a plastic vessel, I’m immediately transported into the stands at an AFL match. It’s like magic. Bloody brilliant, mate. Carn the Pies!”
Kendall claimed he was so committed to his unusual approach that he was even considering paying upwards of $15 for a neat little pie and chips combo at half time of today’s game, despite assurances from his wife that the food was taken care of. Kendall said, “I wouldn’t rule it out, mate. If I wasn’t so worried about the financial impact of this latest lockdown I definitely would, so if the missus puts on a decent spread I might just accept that. But let’s just see how half-pissed these middies can get me before I start making any big decisions. At the very least, after the game, I’ll stand outside in the cold for a bit, just so I can replicate waiting at Jolimont for the next Hurstbridge train.”