A local parent has reportedly stealth eaten an entire block of Cadbury chocolate in one day, shielding her children from the binge, and left with nothing but shame and regret for her actions. Steph Graham made the stunning admission to The Watsonia Bugle late yesterday while in the midst of a crushing sugar down, fighting back tears as she spoke of her clandestine consumption.

Graham said, “It started at about 10.30 in the morning when I cracked the first line. Once I started it was hard to stop, and I ended up finishing the whole thing by just a tick after 3 in the afternoon. I can’t believe it, this is not how I envisaged my life panning out when I was an idealistic young thing straight out of uni in my early 20s.”

While Graham refused to admit whether she would tell her husband about the incident, she did say that telling her kids was out of the question. She said, “Absolutely not. No way. Those vultures would never let me forget about it. That’s the whole reason I have to hide my eating from them in the first place. Home schooling is a nightmare, especially in this weather. And besides, they’re terrible sharers, and one or two pieces is just never enough for them. They’d badger me all day for more.”