A local baller says he’s not happy with the current COVID-caused crowd restrictions being enforced at mid-week Diamond Valley basketball, claiming that the one spectator per player rule won’t allow him to cater for his full posse. Caleb Hamilton also said that the current restrictions even have him questioning his short-term future in the game, suggesting that if he can’t perform for the people, why performs at all.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Hamilton said, “One spectator per player? I mean, seriously? How am I supposed to cater for my cool little entourage? This is unfair. I pride myself on being an entertainer on the court, and have been bringing people through the mid-week basketball turnstiles for years now. I’m honestly not sure I’ll bother turning up until the crowds are back. I mean, they’re only grading games anyway.”

Hamilton then got quite philosophical about the current situation, saying, “As the old saying goes, if a tree falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it does it even make a noise? Same applies to me raining threes from the perimeter. If nobody is there to witness it, did it even happen? I have some deep questions to ponder before I even consider lacing up for Round 1 tomorrow night.”