An inventive local renegade has found a way to work around the new rule preventing the removal of a face mask to drink alcohol in public, dusting off the beer dispensing helmet that’s been hidden in his garage since last summer. Self-diagnosed “Ideas Man” Brandan Pollard announced to friends in his WhatsApp group this afternoon that he’d found a way to still enjoy a few quiet beers while taking his dog for a walk. Insisting that the straws from his unique beer dispensing device fit snugly under his face mask, Pollard claimed his eye-catching apparatus wouldn’t draw too much attention in the Watsonia area.

As part of Victoria’s latest raft of new restrictions, it was announced earlier today that it will now be illegal to remove your face mask to drink alcohol in public, most likely in an attempt to stop people from tipping a few in whilst working hard on their scheduled two hours of exercise each day. While the rule kind of makes sense, Pollard said he would defend his right to have a beer or two while out and about.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle, Pollard said, “Mate, there’s nothing better after a long hard day at work than cracking open a cold one and taking it for a walk around the block with ya dog. It’s one of my daily rituals, I love it. COVID has taken a lot of things away from me over the last 18 months, but it will not take this from me. So, if I have to wear that big helmet when I’m out and about over the next two weeks I will. I’m committed to the cause!”