A local resident has claimed that the “No Swimming” sign at Kalparrin Lake is probably not actually necessary, and that it stands as evidence that the local council thinks we’re all morons. Shelly Lynch spotted the sign over the weekend near the playground, and wondered out loud if anyone had ever genuinely considered taking a dip in what pretty much amounts to a storm water outlet, not to mention the ever-present threat of being squashed by a frolicking humpback whale.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Lynch said, “I’ve been to that park hundreds of times but have never really noticed the sign. But I was there on the weekend and couldn’t believe it. I mean, it’s giving the kind of warnings you’d expect on the back beaches down the peninsula. Strong currents? Seriously? If you’re dumb enough to go swimming in Kalparrin Lake, you probably deserve to come a cropper. You know, Darwin Awards and all that. Those signs are completely unnecessary.”

Lynch then used the over-cautious signage as an example of the dumbing down of society in general. She said, “I worry about the next generation. I really do. There’s a warning sign for everything these days. I’m a big believer that most people in this world are dumb, but surely we don’t need to be told not to do obviously stupid things like swimming in Kalparrin Lake. What has the human race come to if members of society really need to be told this?”