A local bald man says he does not share the widespread societal enthusiasm for the reopening of barbers and hairdressers after lockdown, lamely joking to anyone who’ll listen that his barber has “worked right through both 2020 and 2021, haha”. Luke Hanna insisted to work colleagues over a video conference call this morning that he was more excited by the reopening of bars and restaurants when lockdown ends at midnight tonight.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Hanna said, “Yeah mate, I’m not sure what all the fuss is about really. My barber wasn’t impacted by the restrictions, because my barber is me! Haha. But seriously, there aren’t too many benefits to being a nude nut, and this has been one of them.”

Hanna also claimed an unexpected benefit of working from home since early last year. He said, “Overall, the pandemic has actually been quite good for me. No interruptions to my head shaving regime, and I’ve been able to wear hats and beanies all day as I haven’t been in the office. I’ve loved it.”