A local mother of three has accused Watsonia’s mobile ice cream truck of taking liberties with its delivery frequency, warning of a long and expensive summer ahead if the current trend continues. Penny Bracewell claims that the combined forces of Melbourne’s extended lockdown and our desperation for any kind of activity in our otherwise dull lives have conspired to create a perfect storm of ice cream exploitation.

Bracewell said, “It seems like as soon as the temp climbs over 20 degrees you hear the distant jingle ringing out across the Watsonia region. And we’re all stuck at home right now, with ratty kids climbing the walls, so we’re just ripe for the picking. When I was younger, the truck would only do the rounds when the temp was over 30 or something. If you ask me, this one’s taking the piss.”

However, when pressed on whether she had sampled from the truck’s surprisingly expansive menu, Bracewell was slightly evasive. She said, “What’s your point? And how does this relate to the story? I mean, sure, I’ve had one or two over the last month or so. Is there a problem with that? Sue me.”