In breaking news, an escaped sheep at a Macleod event this afternoon provided a thrilling mix of fear and excitement for local community members. Running loose at around 1.30pm, the clearly terrified livestock evaded would-be captors for a wild five-minute period, before being safely returned to its petting zoo enclosure.

According to one man at the event, it was one of the most exciting things he’s witnessed in years. The anonymous man said, “Look, I’ve been locked in my house for the best part of two years, so watching a farm animal run around a suburban park and cause genuine mayhem was actually pretty fun. Sure, I was worried it was going to run onto the road and get drilled by a car in front of around 100 kids, but I guess that was part of the perverse thrill.”

However, it was that concern for the adventurous sheep’s welfare that left a stronger impression on other witnesses. Jan Hughes told The Watsonia Bugle, “That was actually horrible. And all those heroes trying to chase it down were just adding to the danger. Unless Usain Bolt was there, nobody on two legs was going to catch that dude, he was literally running for his life.”