A Watsonia father has taken to blaming a seemingly possessed elf for what is shaping to be almost an entire month of early morning wakeup calls. Darren Jenkins levelled the accusation this week, claiming that ever since his family welcomed an Elf on the Shelf into their home, the rogue creature has been causing the Jenkins children to excitedly jump out of bed before 5:30am every morning in December.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle about his ongoing ordeal, Jenkins said, “At first I thought it would be a nice thing to do for the kids. You know, a bit of fun, mixed with the mild threat of being surveilled by one of Santa’s lead spies. But now we’re 15 days into December and I’m trying to navigate the busiest month of the year on minimal sleep and a bunch of ratty kids who lose their mind by the end of the day because they’ve been up since sparrow’s fart.”

According to Jenkins, in addition to requiring to be put in a new and exciting position each night, the Elf on the Shelf phenomenon is basically elongating the madness of Christmas morning for an entire month. He said, “Sure, Christmas morning can be a bit rough when they all get up super early and you’ve had a few beers the night before, but it’s only one night, so you can deal with that. But 25 early mornings in a row? It’s a living nightmare. And I can’t just get rid of the little rascal because the kids bloody love him!”

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