Local cricketers are blaming “interventionist pitch design” for denying Greensborough Park the chance to feature the kind of natural slant that exists at the equally iconic venue of Lord’s in London. Callum McDonough made the assessment earlier this week while walking his dog around the boutique oval, and believes a pitch sitting slightly off centre might be just what synthetic pitch surfaces need to add some variety to local cricket.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, McDonough said, “People go mad for that same feature at Lord’s, so why not give one of our local ovals the same beloved talking point? It’d be sick. And would offer a real point of difference.”

Beyond the obvious boost the change would create for tourism in our region, McDonough believes a slanted wicket would bring some much-needed spice to the game. He said, “Syntho cricket has long been a haven for over-precious batters. This would really shake things up a bit. You know, give the bowlers a slight edge. Level the playing field a bit, by unlevelling it, if you know what I mean? Cricket has become too much of a batter’s game.”