A local parent has conducted an in-depth report into the Pig the Pug book series and concluded that Pig is an absolute jerk. Watsonia father of two Darren Graham shared his findings in a global press release earlier this week, but it’s believed The Watsonia Bugle is the first media outlet with the courage to publish a story on the controversial topic.

According to Graham, “Across the breadth and width of the ongoing series, Pig exhibits numerous toxic personality traits that seem to be reconciled at the end of each episode, only to return in each follow-up story. It sends a troubling message to our children. It’s basically giving them the green light to act like entitled arseholes for 90% of the time, as long as they act all contrite for the remaining 10%. Incredibly unhealthy, as you can imagine.”

In yet another The Watsonia Bugle, we spoke to Pig’s long-suffering colleague Trevor about his acquaintance’s questionable behaviour. He said, “Look, if I’m being totally honest, I think there was only ever meant to be one book, but that first one was so popular that they had to keep writing sequels. And the whole concept relies on Pig being a dickhead to everyone around him before supposedly learning the error of his ways… only to just repeat them all over again. Every. Fucking. Time. I’d have quit ages ago, but the pay cheque is too good to refuse. So, I just grin and bear it each time we do a new book, and avoid Pig as much as possible. Kind of like I imagine Gerard Whateley avoids Mark Robinson either side of each AFL 360 episode.”