A Montmorency resident was overheard yesterday referring to his home suburb as a “town”, despite the fact that everyone knows it’s just a suburb, like all the other suburbs around it in the aptly-named “northern suburbs” of Melbourne. Long-time Monty resident Dante McAllister was overheard making the seemingly common mistake yesterday while popping down to Were Street to pick up a few essentials.

Although Montmorency’s status as a suburb was presumed to be indisputable, it seems that McAllister isn’t the only resident who likes to refer to it as a town. Preliminary investigations into the matter reveal that at least almost half of Montmorency’s residents are running with the “town” moniker. Of that surprisingly high percentage, as many as 60% of them use it ironically, while the remaining 40% genuinely believe that they reside in an actual town.

Meanwhile, local urban planner Roger Tomlinson claimed that Montmorency residents referring to themselves as living in a town was a classic case of Suburban Deniers Syndrome (SNS). Tomlinson said, “They think Montmorency is a town? Haha, get real. Technically you can’t really have referred to Monty as a town since about the early 1960s. Sadly, SNS is becoming increasingly common in little suburban enclaves like Montmorency. At first, it’s kind of funny speaking to people who have it but, after a while, it just gets really sad. You’re a suburb, accept that, and move on.”

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