A local Essendon fan claims he’s welcoming the abundance of unsolicited opinions on why his team sucks this year, suggesting that brainstorming the issue might help get the Bombers’ season back on track. Enduring a tough start to this week after his side’s lacklustre performance on Saturday night against the Swans, Damon McAlister said he’s enjoying hearing a variety of opinions on the issue.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, McAlister said, “It’s always good to canvas a wide range of opinions. I love hearing what supporters of other teams think about Essendon. Especially Collingwood supporters. They’re always so insightful and interesting.”

When asked whether he’d heard any decent suggestions, McAlister said, “Yeah, quite a few actually. Get Stringer fit, bring back Joe Daniher, put Hurley up forward, give Hirdy the coaching gig again, ask Dyson Heppell to yell at his teammates every now and then, ask Timmy Watson to come out of retirement for a second time, and build a time machine so we can go back into history and not employ The Weapon. You know, just the usual.”