A local alpha has again asserted his authority on his neighbours, this time by being the first in his street to put bins out under the new FOGO regime that commenced this week. Trevor McInnes made the strong power play earlier this morning, just to remind the residents of his street that he’s the primary taste maker and moral arbiter in Watsonia North.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle about his bold statement, McInnes said, “Well, it’s quite simple really, I’m the leader of this street. I set the tone on bin night. So, when I put the green bin and the red bin out early on a Thursday, everyone else knows to fall into line. These morons would be lost without me.”

However, it seems not everyone in the street agrees with McInnes’ push for suburban dominance. An anonymous neighbour contacted us to say, “Old mate Trev thinks he runs the joint, but he’s kidding himself. Sure, I like the fact I don’t have to known which week it is, I just follow his lead but, seriously, it’s not that hard to read the calendar. He carries on like he’s some kind of genius but, in reality, it’s just that he has so much spare time on his hands he can really obsess over this kind of banal stuff. He needs to get a life.”