A young hungover couple from Watsonia have made the long trek to the Northland food court in an attempt to cure their ills, and also to feel a whole lot better about themselves and their life choices. Cam Johnson and Claire McDonald had a big night out last night and woke this morning with dry mouths, sore heads, and a genuine concern for their decision making skills.

Having dealt with similar scenarios before, the pair knew there was only one thing to do: get to the Norfies food court for some physical and emotional repair. Before they’d even sat down to eat their salty lunches they had begun to feel better, especially Johnson who was stuck behind a 20-something gent wearing adidas snap pants and a pair of Nike Shox in the Maccas queue.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Johnson later said, “It just worked immediately. This guy was muttering to himself and then ordered three times before he got a total that he could afford with the handful of change floating around in his adidas snappies.” In the process of sitting down to consume their respective hangover favourites, the couple witnessed three seperate domestics, multiple cases of morbid obesity, and one angry dad yelling at his three children to “pull up” no less than four times during their traditional Sunday food court lunch.

Reflecting on the lively experience, McDonald said, “We’ve done it a few times now, and it just never fails. A significant component of the average hangover is dealing with the personal shame and questioning your choices in life. A quick visit to the Norfies food court on a Sunday lunchtime alleviates all those concerns almost immediately. Do yourself a favour.”