An exclusive report has revealed that there are genuine concerns about the future of Watsonia’s mysterious rock formation, following the bells-and-whistles announcement of our suburb’s new town square project. Neatly wedged in between our ridiculously priced service station and the Watsonia RSL, the carefully placed rocks have become a beloved feature of the local landscape after being featured as one of the cultural hot spots on Watsonia’s European Staycation tour.

However, over the last few weeks, community groups have been meeting in secret to discuss whether the rock formation will be retained in the new-look town square, with many fearing that the rocks will be permanently removed from the region. One passionate local, who requested strict anonymity, told The Watsonia Bugle, “I don’t know what it is about them rocks, but I’ve become quite attached to them. I know you guys kind of mocked them for being Watsonia’s very own version of Stonehenge, but I actually think they’re pretty cool.”

Sitting in the shadows of the towering powerlines that run through our suburb, the somewhat puzzling geological installation is most likely just the local council’s attempt to stop opportunistic commuters from illegally parking a bit closer to the train station, but that hasn’t stopped the local community developing a strange attachment to the formation. Another anonymous local insisted that the rocks should be incorporated in the new design. They said, “I saw all those design options before they chose the final one. You can’t tell me they couldn’t have kept the rocks in some form. They’re part of Watsonia’s identity. I might even padlock meself to them when they start work on the new town square. Or maybe I’ll convince them to let me keep them and install them in my backyard. That would be cool!”