A local man with a permanent moustache says he is not happy with what he describes as “regular” Movember compliments about his soup strainer. Philip Branson claims that he has been proudly sporting a moustache for over 30 years now, and his commitment to the sartorial statement is more than just a once a month kind of thing.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Branson said, “Pretty much at no other time of the year do people make comments about it. For most people, it’s just blended into my very being, they don’t feel the need to question it or discuss it. But then November comes around and people start asking for my fundraising page, and they smile and nod at me heaps. It’s unsettling, and I don’t like it.”

Branson also said, “A moustache is a lifestyle, not some once a year activity. The only cause I’m pushing with this bad boy is sex appeal and style. In large quantities.”