Some burning toast in a local household has at least proven to the owners that their smoke alarms work, following a painfully loud test run. Two separate alarms were triggered yesterday morning as the unmistakable scent of burnt bread wafted through the house.

After being dobbed in to The Watsonia Bugle by his amused neighbours, James Hawkins admitted to us that his inability to prepare the simplest of breakfast dishes had at least one positive outcome. Hawkins said, “I was really caught on the back foot mate. The first one went off and I was leaping at the roof trying to grab it down. Then, once I’d sorted that first one I thought the ordeal was over. But then, BANG, the hallway alarm goes off and I’m running around the house like a schmuck again.”

While Hawkins claimed that he always valued fire safety in the family home, he conceded that it had been at least “two to three years” since he’d last tested his smoke alarms. He said, “They had that cool TV ad a few years where they made it look like so much fun to test your smoke alarms. But, in reality, the novelty wears off real quick. I just haven’t prioritised it enough in recent years. And it’s a busy time of the year, you know.”