A notorious local cricket bully has experienced a painful dose of cramping comeuppance during a self-described “chanceless innings that changed the course of the game”. According to witnesses, top order batsman Tommy Mooney was floored by a full body cramp while scampering for a rare single in a brutal innings punctuated mostly by boundaries. Laying prostrate on the turf, Mooney required the assistance of the opposition wicket keeper to relieve the intense cramp, before bravely returning to the crease to resume play.

While some observers suggested the cramp was a classic case of being “hit by the karma bus”, Mooney maintained it was an “unfortunate occurrence during an otherwise pleasant Saturday afternoon at Greensborough Park”. Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle about his innings, Mooney said, “They sent me out to take a bit of shine off the new ball, but after a few early sighters, I realised the best way to take the shine off is to slap that ball to every corner of the park. It’s not my fault the bowlers kept putting the ball in the way of my natural arc.”

When contacted this morning live from the physio table, Mooney was in a more reflective mood. He said, “The physical pain I’m feeling now is a small price to pay for the reaching three figures with the bat. But at the end of the day, I’m more interested in team success than personal accolades. I’ve sacrificed my physical wellbeing for the team before, and I sure as hell will do it again.”

Mooney has previously made headlines for a merciless innings he played three years ago after deliberately requesting to drop down a couple of grades so he could feast on some lacklustre bowling. The Watsonia Bugle is in no way suggesting he has engaged in that underhanded behaviour this time.