A local man has made the catastrophic error of spreading strawberry jam on toast instead of raspberry jam, and claims it’ll be hard for his day to recover from here. Wayne Carmine accidentally selected the inferior jam earlier this morning while making breakfast, only discovering his mistake as he took the first bite of his toast.

Reflecting on the ordeal, Carmine said, “It was just terrible, and it brought back a lot of bad memories from my childhood. Those big chunks of strawberry. Just disgusting. I can still taste them in my mouth now, even though I brushed my teeth about 10 times afterwards. This will take some recovering from.”

When asked how he’d made such a terrible mistake, Carmine blamed the new year. He said, “I don’t know, maybe 2023 is just not my year. Things haven’t started well for me, and this is just another sign.”