A recent survey of Diamond Valley residents has revealed that just over 80 per cent of them have never heard of the “Bend of Islands”, despite the fact the rural locality sits less than 25 kilometres from the Watsonia CBD. The result has staggered the remaining 20 per cent, who are now taking a strong position of superiority over their less knowledgeable neighbours.

Listed in the 2021 Census as having a population of just 267 people, the exotic-sounding region of Bend of Islands sits between Kangaroo Ground and Yering, and is nestled along the banks of the Yarra River. Exactly how many islands sit within the postcode remains unclear, and even though 2 out of 10 of us claim to know of the area, a lot less can claim to have actually been there.

Local geography teacher Gregory Brabender said he was surprised by the results of the survey. He said, “In my line of work I’ve become accustomed to a general lack of knowledge about the geography of our country, and the world in general. But I’m genuinely surprised by how many people don’t even know all the suburbs and towns in their immediate vicinity. I’ll be quizzing all my students as soon as school returns next week. This is just not good enough.”