A local male loofah-user has carefully chosen black to retain the final shred of his masculinity that remains due to his use of a fluffy body wash accessory. Watsonia’s very own Callum Jenkins claims that choosing such a strong colour for his personal loofah somewhat lessens the hit his masculinity takes every time he uses one.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle to explain/defend his actions, Jenkins said, “Yeah mate, the misso was on me case for ages about starting to use one of them loofahs. She reckons it’s real tops for me skin and that. I put it off for a while, but then I said, alright, I’ll try it, but make sure you at least get me one of them black ones, they look a bit tougher, you know.”

When asked to explain why he thought his personal hygiene routine was a threat to his otherwise intact masculinity, Jenkins said, “Who knows mate, it’s just a feeling I get about the whole process of lathering up. If me mates found out about it, I’d be dead meat. They’d never stop potting me for it. It would be a living nightmare.”