A Police helicopter pilot has reportedly expressed his deep jealousy at the headlines created by the space junk that fell from the sky last night. Accustomed to dominating the speculative conversation on the Watsonia Community Voice Facebook page, a friend of the pilot claimed he was “not angry, just disappointed”.

The anonymous source contacted The Watsonia Bugle earlier today and said, “I know it sounds a bit precious, but he was genuinely upset to be upstaged by this almost paranormal activity. I guess he’s just used to being the number one show in town, so he doesn’t like the competition.”

According to the friend, we should brace for a “strong campaign to return to relevance” in the coming days. He said, “Like that old Game of Thrones meme, brace yourselves. I reckon we’ll see a lot more of our old mate the helicopter over the rest of this week. Just as a subtle reminder that he’s the main man. I mean, the odds of Russian space junk plummeting to earth again are pretty slim, but he’ll be wanting to get back to dominating the community page posts asap.”