The seemingly permanent closure of Chequers Pizza on Watsonia Road is a clear breach of the Watsonian Constitution. As revealed via an in-depth investigation by The Watsonia Bugle back in July, the provision of four pizza shops for the people of Watsonia was written into the Watsonian Constitution by our founding father Charles Watson. 

Watson, the well-travelled pastoralist, reportedly returned from a business trip in Italy and immediately wrote the following terms into the Constitution: “By ye time in which ye settlement of ‘Watsonialand’ has been subdivided and local merchants commence the buying and selling of provisions, there must be a vast range of pizzerias on ye Main Street. Such a range will encourage healthy competition between merchants and a satisfication of all tastes.” 

Questions are now being asked about what will be done about this clear breach of the wishes of our pizza-loving founding father. While many residents are calling for a gourmet burger joint or an Indian restaurant, to round out an otherwise comprehensive range of takeaway options, traditionalists are concerned that we are not living our lives in the way that Charles Watson had originally intended. What will happen next? Only time will tell.