Linguistics experts have concluded that when someone tells you to “neck up parrot” you have no viable comeback, and it’s best to just leave the room to reevaluate where your life is at. This conclusion was reached at a recent linguistics forum held in Sydney and attended by leading experts in the field.

The forum was held on the final afternoon of a two-day conference which included such topics as why do some people still think ‘lol’ means ‘lots of love’, and will ‘nek minnit’ eventually replace ‘next minute’ in the English language?

At the forum on the final day, a panel of experts discussed what the most stinging and insurmountable verbal barb was. After an hour of heated discussion, it was universally agreed that “neck up parrot” was the winner.

Greensborough man Wayne Clark said he was not surprised by the finding, explaining that he’d used the retort on many occasions. Clark said, “yeah mate, it’s bloody bulletproof. When any of my mates are talking shit, one of just yells ‘orh, neck up parrot!’ and they have no choice but to shut right up.”