The same man who confessed to using the garden entrance at Thomastown Bunnings to avoid the lure of the weekend sausage sizzles has again contacted The Watsonia Bugle to reveal that he’s now struggling with the regular barbeques at his children’s junior sport. As reported back in January, Mitchell Lucas was wrestling with self-diagnosed “charity guilt” due to his constant dodging of the Bunnings sausage sizzle, but is yet to find a similar outlet as the garden entrance at his son and daughter’s weekly sporting commitments.

Speaking to the Bugle, Lucas said, “Mate, I just got through that difficult summer period where I was at Bunnings just about every weekend. DIYing this, DIYing that. But I held strong and didn’t eat too many sausages, kept my summer body in reasonable condition, and was genuinely proud of myself. But now my daughter’s enrolled at Auskick, and my son is playing junior footy. So that’s a minimum of two extra weekly sausage sizzles that I have to try to avoid every weekend. Then Greensy Safeway gets one out every now again. It’s a nightmare.”

While Lucas did admit that winter would allow him to hide a few excess kilograms, he expressed more concern about his mental fortitude. He said, “I mean, my winter coat is capable of hiding a few extra kgs, but that’s not the point. I’ve held strong for close to five months now, dealt with my ‘charity guilt’ back in January, but now temptation has reared its ugly head yet again. I honestly don’t know what to do.”