Local police are reportedly on high alert for tonight’s round of basketball games at Diamond Valley Stadium following reports out of the United States that an enraged casual basketballer called the police in response to hard foul at a recreational gym. In a story that has drawn the ire of most commenters online, an unidentified man in Virginia literally called the police after what he felt was an overly aggressive screen from one of his opponents. Images were then posted on Twitter showing police in attendance at the scene speaking to the two men involved in the incident.

While the exact outcome of the police attendance is unknown, most sane people around the globe have agreed that the call out was an obvious waste of police time and resources. However, in response to the viral image, local police are now on high alert for tonight’s round of mid-week basketball games at venues across Melbourne, including the Diamond Valley Stadium in Greensborough – scene of arguably NBA Rookie of Year Ben Simmon’s greatest on-court triumph.

A source close to local police told The Watsonia Bugle, “A memo went around this morning advising officers of this new trend. While it was made clear that such incidents should be handled by the referees and/or the adults involved, police may become involved in such ‘he said she said’ situations, so they needed to brush up on the most up-to-date interpretations of basketball law, especially offensive fouls and illegal screens.”

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