Watsonia’s very own George R. R. Martin lookalike is reportedly not happy with the recent Taylor Swift intrusion. The man, whose actual name remains unknown, was overheard on Watsonia Road yesterday muttering about the extra publicity that T Swizzle has brought to our otherwise peaceful suburb.

For those not in the know, George R. R. Martin is the author behind the book series that inspired the runaway television success known as Game of Thrones, and he has a very credible lookalike that is often seen wandering along Watsonia Road and visiting many of the businesses along our thriving retail strip. While no photographic evidence is available to The Watsonia Bugle at this time (we always respect the lookalike’s privacy), we promise that the lookalike is legit, complete with the glasses, silver beard, and hat. For reals.

Spotted yesterday out the front of Liquorland, the Martin lookalike was overheard complaining about the Taylor Swift rumours, reportedly telling another local, “Oh, it’s ghastly if you ask me. I used to be the most famous figure in this town, but Tay Tay easily eclipses me. She’s got 112 million Insta followers for goodness sake! I liked Watsy the way it was.”

While early suggestions that the lookalike may actually be Martin himself remain unproven, his disgust at the recent Swift rumours seem to have added fuel to the long-held theory that the famous author is hiding away in Watsonia while he finishes his popular series of books. Local conspiracy theorist Graeme Salisbury told The Watsonia Bugle, “I’ve long suspected that the lookalike is actually George in hiding. I mean, what a great place to hide from the world while you’re working hard on your hit series of novels. A low profile suburb hidden away in the southern hemisphere, incredibly healthy place, lots of takeaway food options, and an easy place to walk around while thinking up ideas for the next big incident in Westeros. And now that he’s said he’s not happy about the Taylor Swift rumours it makes even more sense. Of course he doesn’t want a global spotlight shone onto the otherwise sleepy hollow of Watsonia!”