Volunteers for this weekend’s fundraising sausage sizzle at a local primary school are reportedly at war over where to place the onion on sausages to be sold on election day. During a fiery meeting last night, where organisers planned to run through the final preparations, volunteers were split on the issue, with one rogue group of parents threatening a boycott if it was decided that onions would go under the sausage as recently dictated by Bunnings.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, one anonymous parent said, “It really got people fired up. One guy even slammed his fist onto one of those school desks while trying to make his point. Sadly, I don’t think the issue has been resolved. So, who knows what will happen on Saturday.”

Similar to a weekend shopping experience at Bunnings, tucking into a sausage on election day has become an essential part of our nation’s democratic process. And it’s a win-win situation for all involved — hungry voters get a vital mid-morning snack, and valuable funds are raised for our local primary schools and local community groups.

Exactly when or how the issue will be resolved remains unclear, with the primary school unavailable for comment on the matter when we contacted them. Will they bow to bureaucratic pressure in our increasingly litigious society and place the onion under the sausage? Or will they throw caution to the wind, place the onion on top where it rightfully belongs, and maintain their status as a truly Australian institution? Something tells us this might be a more important vote for the future of our nation than this Saturday’s State election.