A Queensland motorist has been angered by today’s announcement that while emojis will soon be added to personalised number plates, he won’t be able to add the eggplant emoji. Gregory Cass was initially excited by the news, but excitement quickly switched to anger after he learnt that the innuendo-loaded eggplant was not an option amongst the new designs.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Cass said, “When I first heard emojis were being added to number plates I got so excited, but then I read they were only using them lame ones. You know, the smiling one, the laughing one, the winking one, that creepy sunglasses dude. Just the usual. The eggplant one would’ve been all-time. So many great variations.”

While Cass refused to elaborate on exactly what those variations would’ve been, he promised they would have been highly amusing. He said, “I’m not telling youse, mate. Because one day the government might wise up and allow the eggplant. Then you’ll probably steal me idea. But trust me, it’s an absolute pissa mate”.