A local woman thinks Club Locks are making a retro comeback for nervous motorists, claiming that she’s spotted multiple examples of the anti-theft device in use around Melbourne in just the last two weeks. Tina Danielson contacted The Watsonia Bugle yesterday to share her pithy observation, openly questioning whether it was a sign of society’s growing lack of intelligence, or a sign that crime is on the rise in our area.

Danielson said, “I saw the first one about two weeks ago and just laughed. I don’t reckon I’d seen one for at least a decade before that. But then, in the fortnight since the first sighting, I’ve seen at least another three or four. That’s enough for me to officially declare it as a trend. I’m not sure of the exact cause, but maybe it’s the higher proliferation of those community voice groups on Facebook. Scare-mongering is at an all-time high on the streets of Melbourne.”

However, Danielson also suggested that the trend might be symptomatic of something even more concerning. She said, “Some of them were even on modern cars. Are people getting dumber? Most of those cars have automatic steering locks built into them. So, what’s the point of adding some prehistoric device on top of that? I’ve long suspected that people are getting dumber, but this is obvious proof.”