A local titan of finance ordered some extras at breakfast this morning like money was nothing more than an obscure concept obsessed over by poor people. Terrence Winterbottom was dining at one of Watsonia’s wonderful cafes when he flamboyantly ordered extra avocado, a hash brown, and mushrooms, elevating his voice slightly so that fellow diners could get a glimpse into just how rich he was.

While sitting down to eat his extravagant breakfast, Winterbottom was overheard questioning our recent article on people complaining about news websites that use annoying paywalls. He was heard saying, “What do you mean people won’t pay for their news? How else do they stay abreast with the latest goings on and current affairs? We always paid for our newspapers when I was a lad, why do they expect to get it for free now?”

Last seen making his way to a gold-plated Rolls-Royce parked on Watsonia Road, Winterbottom paused for a moment before remarking to his attractive female companion that they had better purchase some fuel up the road before returning home. When the companion mentioned that petrol might be a bit cheaper outside of Watsonia, Winterbottom replied, “Oh darling, don’t be daft! We will purchase our fuel at the nearest facility. Post haste. And we’ll be getting premium, of course.”