A local woman has claimed that the introduction of dark chocolate Favourites must be 2020’s “Last sack whack to civilised society”. Following a long year of setbacks and disappointment, Lisa Nicholls was horrified to see the new confectionary offering during a recent visit to the supermarket, later saying she would’ve “Spat on those boxes right there and then if it wasn’t for the fact I was forced to wear one of those stupid masks because I was indoors”.

Sharing her strong views with The Watsonia Bugle, Nicholls said, “I mean, seriously, what were they thinking? As if 2020 hasn’t dealt us enough dud cards, they serve this up right on the buzzer. It’s a joke. They’re called ‘Favourites’ for a reason: most people are supposed to like them. We’ve put up with the addition of Turkish Delight and Flake all these years, surely that’s enough. They’ve just taken something we all love and shat down its throat. It’s basically 2020’s last sack whack to civilised society, and I’m not happy.”

Nicholls also claimed it might have been part of some long-term sinister plan. She said, “I bet whoever came up with this idea is one of those weirdos that’s into dark chocolate. They’ve wanted this idea to hit shelves for years, and thought this was the perfect timing because everyone is distracted by how the world’s turned to muck this year. Well, whoever you are, I’m not letting this pass without comment. You can take your dark chocolate and get stuffed!”