To steal a line from thousands of parents across the world, the current furore over the new train station in Montmorency is the perfect example of “why we can’t have nice things”. The usually sunny and cheerful disposition of the social media phenomenon known as ‘Monty Life 3094’ took a turn for the worse over the weekend, as Monty residents fiercely debated the pros and cons of the new development.

Having suffered for decades with a one platform train station that mostly looked like an architectural after-thought, and sparked memories of a bygone era, the suburb of Montmorency was excited in February when plans for brand new stations were announced for both Monty and Greensborough. But that initial excitement has since evaporated, and has now been replaced with an ongoing debate over community consultation, tree management, parking, an endangered butterfly, and construction noise.

While everything seems nice and rosy in Montmorency on the surface, what with their beloved ‘Were Street vibe’ and access to a real-life wine bar, recent events have cast doubt on the community feel that is allegedly so strong that residents once considered becoming an independent state. In fact, one Montmorency community member contacted The Watsonia Bugle this week to express his concern over the matter. Under the strict condition of anonymity, he said, “In all my years scrolling through Monty Life 3094, I’ve never seen an issue divide the locals as severely as this one. Not even those blasted double lines on Were Street. I’m worried. How can we look down our noses at the people that live in neighbouring suburbs if we ourselves are at war with each other? That superiority complex is a non-negotiable cornerstone of my personality. I can’t live a full life without it.”

More to come.