As leadership speculation continues to swirl around Canberra again this morning, The Watsonia Bugle has spectacularly hinted at running for office to bring order to the nation’s democracy. While the exact details surrounding all of our policies remain unclear at this early stage, we do have a couple to get us started.

If successful, the absolute first thing we’ll do is rubber stamp the funding for the giant dim sim installation on Watsonia Road. But, more than that, before it takes its rightful place under the powerlines, the giant dim sim will do a national tour to visit each and every one of Australia’s other oversized monuments. The press opportunities of such a tour would ensure that the good people will never again have the answer the question, “Watsonia, where’s that?”

Beyond that first order of business, we’ll also tackle some more significant issues, such as giving Bunnings a liquor license for night time trading, installing a cattle grid for the Greensborough Hotel drive through bottle shop, and clear up the current confusion about footpath signage at Watsonia Station.

Reckon we can do it? With the potential, by the end of this week, that we’ll have a fifth Prime Minister in just 10 years, anything is possible.