Australia’s major supermarkets are essentially forcing their customers to beg for overpriced plastic bags more than a year on from the well-publicised plastic bag ban. While the initial transition period following the nationwide ban saw the 15-cent bags readily available at all checkouts, users of the ubiquitous self-checkouts now often have to personally ask a real human being for one of the bags, adding immeasurable shame to the already regretful act of asking for the right to pay money for something that used to be free.

The current state of affairs is especially damaging for local deadbeats who continually forget to bring bags from home, but retail experts claim that this presumably intentional shock therapy may actually be counterproductive in the ongoing war on waste.

Supermarket analyst Trevor Tindall told The Watsonia Bugle, “My guess is they’re deliberately making it difficult to access to the 15-cent bags in an attempt to encourage people to adopt the habit of bringing their own bags each time they visit the supermarket. Anecdotally that works, but our data suggests it makes absolutely no difference. In fact, making customers grovel for access to temporary item transport can lead to increased user dissonance, leaving these forgetful idiots to develop phobias for supermarkets and never actually return to the big chains, instead living in the shadows and paying inflated prices for groceries at convenience stores and milk bars.”