The proposals for Watsonia’s whiz-bang town square fail to provide what we all want. Four options were recently unveiled to great fanfare, yet not one of them includes the much-needed giant dim sim, despite the project boasting an expansive $5.5 million budget.

At least one local town planner has claimed that the generous budget, which is quite obviously a deal-sweetener for turning our suburb into a roadworks hub for the next 10 years so we can eventually be split in two by a new tollway, could easily cover the cost of building a large dim sim sculpture. Darren Konnors said, “Mate, for $5 million you could replicate an entire Noodle Station order in statue form. I’m talking four dimmies, a box of Mr Wong’s Rice Deluxe, maybe some Satay Sally, and a big bag of prawn crackers. I know you guys just want one dimmie, but maybe that was your problem: you didn’t aim high enough!”

Hindsight’s a beautiful thing.