Having spent years literally looking down their noses at their 3088 brethren, the good people of Briar Hill have now made their strongest ever move to distance themselves from the broad postcode. While division amongst Greensborough’s different factions is nothing new, this week’s high-profile categorisation of Briar Hill with Montmorency has given valuable media exposure to the movement.

Just two days ago, Briar Hill stood side-by-side with Montmorency to be ranked as Melbourne’s fifth most popular suburb, despite the fact they are actually two different suburbs. The news came just months after an aspirational Briar Hill resident actively petitioned for his region to be renamed “Upper Montmorency”, and is sure to drive an even stronger wedge between the lofty location and its relatively derided 3088 underlings.

Where to from here? Well, it’s anyone’s guess really, but with Montmorency residents being notoriously wary of people that live further than close walking distance to Were Street, the advances from Briar Hill are expected to be met with at least some opposition. And once they have an actual real-life train station with more than one platform, the superiority complex of the 3094 is expected to rise to unprecedented heights. You can almost hear the tsk tsking on Monty Life 3094 from here…