The Watsonia retail precinct has been brutally snubbed in a bias poll conducted by major newspaper chain. In a rather click-baity article entitled The suburban shopping strips that are thriving in Melbourne, nearby Were St in Montmorency was mentioned but there was not a single reference to the magnificent Watsonia Road strip, with its multitude of pharmacies, pizza shops, op shops, bakeries and, of course, the home to the world’s greatest dim sims.

However, it seems that we have nobody to blame but ourselves, as the rankings were based on a reader poll conducted by a rival newspaper, which means the list of so-called thriving main streets is nothing more than a glorified popularity contest. A bit like that time in the 2000s when former Geelong footballer Kent Kingsley won the AFL’s Sexiest Player award on the back of his girlfriend and other loved ones spending weeks texting in their votes for the, at best, moderately attractive man. He won a car. And when he went on The Footy Show to collect the keys, he said he’d probably sell the car and donate the proceeds to that year’s end of season footy trip with the boys, much to the chagrin of his girlfriend who sat alongside him on live television, still nursing a nasty case of RSI in her thumb and fingers, and seemed unaware of her boyfriend’s plan to spend the winnings. Awkward.

Anyways, we digress. While walk-up starts High Street Northcote, Station Street Fairfield, Were Street Montmorency and, cough, Whittlesea all enjoyed their moment in the sun, Watsonians have been left to rue their latent complacency. Did you vote for Watsonia Road? If not, why not? And what about The Watsonia Bugle’s role in this shattering oversight? As the voice of the people, have we failed the people? One thing’s for sure, it will be a tense editorial meeting at Bugle HQ on Monday morning.