Following Watsonia’s pleasant windfall that was recently highlighted on these pages, we decided to do some actual investigative journalism for a change, in an attempt to crown the richest suburb in the Diamond Valley. Despite those admirable intentions, the research was somewhat limited to just median house prices but, you know, beggers can’t be choosers.

After poring over pages and pages of data – read: doing a couple of real quick online searches on the REIV website – we discovered that despite our recent arrival on Millionaire’s Mile, we’re actually chasing tail when compared to most of our neighbouring suburbs. Here is the list:

1. Lower Plenty ($1.86 million)
2. Plenty ($1.53 million)
3. Eltham ($1.3 million)
4. Montmorency ($1.19 million)
5. Macleod ($1.16 million)
6. Yallambie ($1.13 million)
7. Watsonia ($1.12 million)
8. Greensborough ($1.05 million)
9. Diamond Creek ($1.01 million)

Among some of the key observations from the list, it seems we should stop mocking the good people of “Wherelambie” as they are infinitely more wealthy than us, and therefore superior in every way. The residents of Macleod and Montmorency really don’t have much reason to look down their noses at us as much as they currently do. And both Plenty and Lower Plenty really should be officially excluded from the Diamond Valley (which they’d probably be happy to do) because they’re clearly playing a different game of Monopoly to the rest of us.