You might not have realised yet, but Watsonia has become one of Melbourne’s newest million-dollar suburbs, following a report released last month. In the past, seven-figure property prices have sparked fierce debate amongst locals about which part of the 3087 postcode is, in fact, the true Paris End, but it seems Watsonia is now the Paris End of the Diamond Valley as a whole.

While Greensborough was also amongst the new suburbs to reach the previously unimaginable price tag, it came in with a paltry $1.052m median house price, significantly dwarfed by Watsonia’s impressive $1.125m. Hold the press: we might have to add an extra reason to our previous article on the five times Watsonia proved it’s the best suburb in all of Melbourne.

This latest development has been a boon for local homeowners, with many now flaunting their newfound wealth by adding avocado to their breakfast order, purchasing yachts to sail down the Plenty River, and filling up their petrol tank at their own suburb’s over-priced service station.

One such resident, who requested strict anonymity in order to protect their wealth, told The Watsonia Bugle, “This is epic, mate. And beating Greensy is just the cherry on top. I’ve always wanted to be a millionaire, and now I am. Well, pretty much.”