Long-time residents of Watsonia know they are onto a good thing but, sadly, outsiders aren’t always up-to-date with the news. Occasionally mistaken for Wantirna or Warrandyte by Melburnians that seemingly don’t have access to a compass, Watsonia remains something of a hidden gem within Australia’s second-largest city. However, the time for modesty and bashfulness is over. Lockdown has put a bit more time into our hands, so we’ve managed to compile the definitive list of the 5 times that Watsonia proved it’s the best suburb in all of Melbourne… if not the world.

European Staycation

The current COVID-induced Stage 4 restrictions in place in Melbourne have burst the bubble of travel plans made by people living all over this beautiful city. And being restricted to the tight five-kilometre radius around your home means travel across the suburban landscape has also been limited. Undeterred by those challenges, an innovative local travel bureau recently launched a bold advertising campaign that promoted the abundance of “European staycation” experiences available right here in Watsonia. The campaign was a big hit, as locals flocked to take in the sights that can be accessed right on their doorstep. Behold the theatric flourish of the giant coffee cup dancing on Greensborough Highway, be dazzled by the Northern Lights flashing along the Metropolitan Ring Road, or contemplate life while gazing at the weird rock formation near the RSL. But whatever you do, make sure you do it while wearing exercise gear, and don’t be away from your home for more than an hour.

The greatest Dim Sims in the world

Regular readers of The Watsonia Bugle would know we’re quite partial to a couple of dimmies from Noodle Station in the heart of Watsonia’s thriving CBD. In fact, we’ve even been pushing a campaign to commemorate this local delicacy by erecting a giant dim sim along the banks of Watsonia Road. That’s the kind of adoration that only a very special menu item can elicit. Way back in July 2017, local man Rick Hollingsworth used his food blog to declare the Noodle Station dim sims as the greatest in the world, making pointed references to the rival South Melbourne market dim sims along the way. Comparing the two offerings, Hollingsworth said, “It’s like any kind of brand name that gets ahead of itself. The product isn’t necessarily better than its competitors, but people rely on brand reputation.” While Hollingsworth never directly mentioned any other dim sims that can be found across the globe, he didn’t really have to… once you’ve tried the Noodle Station dimmies you’ll know the answer.

Boutique drinking water

It was only last week that most of us learnt of the special and exclusive nature of Watsonia’s water supply. An unfortunate contamination of sections of Melbourne’s water supply accidentally revealed that Watsonia taps into a different source to most of our surrounding suburbs. So while residents of Bundoora, Eltham, Greensborough, and Montmorency dutifully boiled their tap water before drinking it, Watsonians drank straight from the tap like the bunch of bloody legends. The odd discovery even prompted one local hipster to openly spruik the benefits of our boutique water supply, with Caleb McDaniel suggesting “You’ve probably never heard of it before. It’s not mainstream.” Boutique tap water for a boutique suburb. What more could you want?

Regular rankings

Over the past three and a half years of covering the news of the people, for the people, we’ve noticed the absolute plethora of suburb ranking lists that various outlets publish on an annual basis. Keen to get in on that clickbait frenzy, we’re always quick to shout from the rooftops when Watsy ranks highly in one of these lists. From our 4.5 out of 5 stars rating for apparent health of residents, to Watsonia North’s title as the “Least walkable suburb in Melbourne”, the results have been mixed and varied. And the regular high rankings reached a dizzying crescendo earlier this year when Watsonia was named the most popular suburb in all of Melbourne, and the third-most popular suburb in Australia. While that particular ranking was based purely on the average number of online views per listing on a leading real estate website, the lofty position was just reward for a consistently solid performance across the board. And it also helped ease some of the pain of not ranking in the “Top 10 Sexiest Suburbs” in Victoria.

Terrific train station

Contrary to popular opinion, the throbbing heartbeat of any vibrant suburb is its train station. And it’s hard to find a more heaving public transport hub than the Watsonia Train Station. Rumours suggest that our train station is such a hot spot that it was deliberately carved into the earth to reduce that imposing ambient temperature – just like all those weirdos that live underground at Coober Pedy. With a sprawling car park that was once nominated to become the eighth wonder of the world, Watsy Station services a broad cross-section of the local community, with commuters from many of our surrounding suburbs flocking to the station for its ample parking and undeniable sex appeal. In addition to this long list of charms, the Watsonia Train Station has also been providing a gateway to the rest of the world, ever since the arrival of the efficient Skybus service that can ferry you from sunny Watsonia to Melbourne International Airport within minutes. Conversely, the return bus service makes Watsonia the first stop of choice in Melbourne for many international tourists, including Taylor Swift.

So, there you have it, five times that Watsonia proved it’s the best suburb in all of Melbourne… if not the world. Tell your friends!