A mysterious wet patch on Watsonia Road continues to baffle local motorists, with the ungainly sight sparking multiple conspiracy theories about its source. The pothole from where the liquid emanates can be found in the financial and beauty district of our bustling CBD, and has been leaking – what can only be assumed/hoped is – water onto our main road for at least the last few months.

With repairs seemingly still some time away, locals have had an abundance of time to cook up their own elaborate theories about the wet patch, with many contacting The Watsonia Bugle in recent weeks to share their thoughts. Among the suggestions have been an outlet for unused petrol from the ridiculously-overpriced service station just up the road, a natural spring for our suburb’s boutique water supply, or the early onset of higher sea levels caused by global warming.

While each of those theories was well-presented, a slightly more controversial possibility was raised earlier this week. Due to the wet patch’s close proximity to the North East Link hub, one anonymous resident claimed the polarising infrastructure project might be responsible for the permanently damp state of Watsonia Road. The informant said, “I’m not sure how or why, but I wouldn’t be surprised if NEL has something to do with this. I mean, that hub alone cost $620,000 to build, so why wouldn’t a waterslide be part of that price? A very dangerous and abrasive waterslide, no doubt, but the kind of unique selling proposition that can command such a high cost. Who knows?”