The same real estate website that wrote a barely researched article about Watsonia last year has again put our suburb up in lights — this time naming us as one of three Melbourne suburbs that are “set to transform in the next few years”. Putting us on a podium with Sunshine and Cheltenham, rather than discussing the many joys of a life lived in Watsonia, it merely suggests that our suburb is a viable option for buyers who “have been priced out of Reservoir”.

The basic premise of the article suggests that the establishment of the North East Link, and its resulting easier access to the city, will make Watsonia “more appealing to working professionals”. What’s that supposed to mean? Working professionals don’t already live in Watsonia? Are we all just a bunch of unemployed slobs? What does the term “working professional” even mean anyway?

The backhanded compliments continue when David Johnston, managing director of Property Planning Australia, says of Watsonia: “I wouldn’t say it’s quite hipster-ville yet, but we’re certainly suggesting it to clients that have been priced out of Reservoir. We look for places that have an established community, but they’re still close to those cooler suburbs.” What the hell is that supposed to mean David? Watsonia is not one of your supposedly “cool suburbs”? Have you been to Watsy recently? C’mon, man.

Throughout the article there’s not one mention of our wonderful array of pizza shops, impressive range of bakeries, trendy abandoned oBike, plans for a giant dim sim tourist attraction, multiple pharmacies, cutting-edge local newspaper (that one hurts the most), thriving public art community, or the fact that we are allegedly a holiday destination for Taylor Swift.

Thanks for the write-up guys, but I think we’d prefer to just remain the “quiet, oft-forgotten pocket of the north-east” that you initially described us as.